Prime Numbers and Primes
by Starscream-CharSiew
Summary: This is what happens when Prowl gets too involved in a teenager's homework. Did I mentino Jazz was around too?
1. Prime Numbers and Primes

A/N: 2 days ago, teacher taught us about Prime numbers and all the other types of numbers. She kept saying prime…prime…prime… So, what did I think of? That's right! Prime! This is my first fanfic, so please excuse me. Prowl is a bit weird here though…

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Prowl was in the rec. room, drinking his energon while going though one of the reports, ignoring Jazz's futile attempts to distract him.

"Prowl~~ Prowlie~~ Proooowl… Prowl, it's ya break! Why are ya still workin'? Can't ya take a break? You're goin' ta overwork yourself one day. Ratch' man said ta relax at least fer a while! Can't ya do dat?"

Prowl, still reading the report, replied, "Jazz, this is my break. It has nothing to do with you. Ratchet told me to take my breaks, not to argue with you. If you have not noticed, I _am _taking my break." holding up his energon cube for Jazz to see.

"But…"

"No buts, I am taking my break and it is none of your business."

Admitting defeat, Jazz sat down and drank his energon silently. Prowl was finally able to work in peace. Until…

"Prowl!"

Prowl instantaneously sat up in his chair, ready to reprimand Jazz again, when he realized it was not Jazz who spoke, it was the voice of a human boy. A boy he identified as Witwicky, Spike Witwicky. Prowl looked in the direction of the rec. room door, spotting Spike running towards him.

"Prowl? Are you free now? I need your help with my Math homework. The other Autobots are busy. Could you help me? Please?"

Prowl looked down at Spike and nodded his head slightly. It was his break anyway, his work could wait. He placed the datapad on the table and waited for Spike's questions. At the corner of his optics, he could see Jazz standing up, doing some sort of victory dance.

Turning towards Jazz Prowl spoke. "Jazz, may I ask why you are jumping up and down, waving your hands in the air and doing other things I do not comprehend with the recycling bin on your head?"

"Prowl, it's a victory dance! I couldn't find somethin' ta use as a hat so since da recyclin' bin was empty, Ah used it." Jazz said while now changing his dance to something that was somewhat a cross between the Cancan and the Macarena. However Jazz managed that, Prowl had no idea. Spike just snickered.

"May I ask what you are celebrating?"

"You're finally not doin' ya work Prowl! Ain't that somethin' ta celebrate?"

Prowl finally gave up and turned back towards Spike.

"What do you need help with Spike?"

"I don't know what all these are Prowl, can you help me?"

Prowl took Spike's worksheet from his hands and looked at it closely. It was obviously a Math worksheet. He had to define the different types of numbers. Prowl handed the worksheet back to Spike and began.

"Prime numbers, or primes, are natural numbers that have exactly 2 distinct natural number divisors: 1 and itself. A Composite number is a positive integer which has more than two divisors, or factors. Take note, 1 is neither a Prime nor a Composite. As it has only one factor, itself."

Prowl continued until he had covered Prime numbers, composite numbers, natural numbers, integers, rational numbers and supernatural numbers. Basically, in layman terms, lots and lots of Mathematical gibberish.

As Spike nodded his head as he finally finished writing down what Prowl had said, the Decepticon alert was suddenly sounded.

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The Decepticons had decided to attack another human power plant. Nothing surprising there. Prowl scanned the area, formulating a battle plan, when suddenly, he heard Megatron's voice.

"We meet again, Prime!"

Then suddenly, something stuck Prowl. He quickly formulated a plan and gave the instructions to Jazz via comm. link, and ran towards Prime and Megatron.

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Megatron was about to lunge at Prime when Prowl suddenly dashed out of nowhere, now standing between Prime and Megatron. Prowl raised one hand to signal Megatron to stop. Out of shock and bewilderment, Megatron complied. Optimus stared in disbelief as Prowl began to speak.

"Optimus sir, it has occurred to me that you cannot be called Prime, and that the name Prime is not right. Your name, Optimus, implies that you are the best and therefore, the only one of this standard. 1 is not a Prime, thus you cannot be called Prime. And neither can any of us. At any one time, there is one Prime. And as I said, 1 is not a Prime." Prowl then turned around to face Megatron. "Megatron, as for you, you will not call him Prime again, or else…"

Prowl balled one hand into a fist and spun his blaster in the other, glaring at Megatron. Out of either shock or fear (most likely shock), Megatron nodded his head and stared. Prime just stared as well.

By this time, practically everyone on the battlefield was staring wide opticed at Prowl, Optimus and Megatron. In fact, if not for his mouth plate, you would be able to see Soundwave's jaw drop.

At this point, no one moved, until Jazz burst out laughing and rolled on the ground, clutching his tanks as he guffawed.

Now, everyone was staring wide opticed at Prowl, Optimus, Megatron and Jazz.

"Megatron is down! I'm in charge now!" A shot was fired one millisecond after this statement. And everyone turned to look at a smoking Starscream and Megatron's smoking fusion cannon. (I'm sure everyone knew this was going to happen.*Is bricked*)

Megatron then took a look at Prowl, the dumbfounded Prime, the laughing Jazz and the smoking Starscream, and barked, "Decepticons! Retreat!"

The humans and Autobots were all safe for now, all except one, Prowl.

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A/N: I told you Prowl was weird in this story. Well you can ignore it. I'm sorry it was so short. What do you think about this? Like it? Hate it? Please let me know. I really need to know so that I can improve in future. Thank You!

BTW, the thing about Jazz dancing was inspired by a drawing on DeviantART by Ladyscale.


	2. Calculation Errors

A/N: People responded quite well to this, so it's going to be a series! The aim of this is now not only for you people to waist your time and laugh, but also to teach you people the basic things you learn in school! Hahaha! All of you will be tearing your hair out with all the "schooly stuffs"

Yes, I know it's short.

This was created because of one of the Maths lessons I had the other day.

Thanks for all the reviews!

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Optimus had not been happy with Prowl's outburst during their battle with the Decepticons. Sure he had driven the Decepticons back without much injuries to their troops, but saying that he could no be called 'Prime' was preposterous! Unacceptable! Intolerable! Insufferable! Unbearable! Unendurable! Not condonable and downright wrong! And since he was in such a bad mood, Prowl had found himself in the rec. room, with a human sized toothbrush and a pail of soapy water.

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The rec. room was gigantic, enormous, even ginormous (Gigantic+Enormous). The ratio of the surface of the bristles of the slagging toothbrush to the surface of the rec. room floor was approximately 1:1000000000000. Prowl's doorwings twitched in annoyance as another toothbrush snapped between his fingers. Hotel toothbrushes were obviously not very reliable. This was the 59th toothbrush he had broken since morning. He had been scrubbing the rec. room floor since 5a.m. in the morning!

"There you are Prowler! I wanted to ask ya about some of the new battle strategies ya came up with."

Prowl cringed as he heard the dreaded sound of a miniscule plastic rod with tiny bristles made for human oral hygiene snapping between his fingers. He turned around to face Jazz as his doorwings twitched in annoyance for the 78th time that morning.

"Oh man Prowl, you're actually annoyed n' Prime's in a bad mood…Hide everyone! The apocalypse is coming!" Jazz suddenly yelled for the whole rec. room to hear, flailing his arms in the air.

Prowl just stared back at Jazz and twitched his doorwings again.

"Seriously Prowler, don't ya find it weird? You n' Prime are the most patient mechs in the Ark! If both of ya are in a bad mood, it's like seein' Obama with a recycling bin on his head, wearin' a tutu, doin' the Cancan while balencin' on a flyin' saucer on the Empire States Buildin'!"

"May I ask who this 'Obama' is?"

"Ain't he the president?"

"No he isn't. I have never even heard of the name 'Obama'"

"Jus' thought it sounds like a president's name."

Prowl facepalmed as Jazz assumed 'The Thinker' position on one of the rec. room chairs. Prowl turned around again and continued his tedious job until he heard the dreaded voice that caused all this in the first place…

"Prowl!"

Prowl cringed visibly as another toothbrush broke. The new tooth brush he too from his subspace. THE 61st SLAGGING TOOTHBRUSH! Prowl spun around to face Spike Witwicky and gave him a stare that would have Unicron heading for the hills.

"Um, Prowl, why are you… never mind. Can you help me clarify something? I don't think this makes sense. Oh hi Jazz! What's with the position?"

Jazz straightened and waved at Spike and then assumed a 'Mona Lisa' position. Prowl facepalmed again as Spike looked confused.

"Alright Spike, one question. One."

Spike finally stopped staring at Jazz and asked, "If you squareroot 7 seven times, then square it seven times, then subtract 7, what should you get?"

"That's simple, 0."

"But my scientific calculator says it's negative nine point nine six, times ten, to the power of negative twelve."

Prowl stared disbelievingly and took the calculator into his hands. He keyed in the equation, and got the same answer.

"But if I use a normal calculator, I'll get 0.0000…00013."

Prowl tried in vain to compute the information. He ran the equation through his logic processor again and again, but could find no fault in his answer. He scanned the room and saw Preceptor walk in.

"Preceptor! Do you by any chance have a scientific calculator with you now?" Prowl said in a shaky voice.

"I do have one now. In fact I was just experimenting on it seeing how…"

Prowl ignored Preceptor and snatched the scientific calculator away from him. He keyed in the equation again, but this time got negative five point 99, times ten, to the power of negative twelve!

Prowl could not digest the data. By right, if you squareroot 7 seven times and then square it seven times, you should still get 7! And 7 minus 7 is 0! How could it possibly be one of these numbers with at least twelve decimal places?

Prowl started to feel his logic processor and his battle computer heat up and pain in his cranium. He knew it was inevitable now.

"Timber!" exclaimed Jazz as Prowl crashed to the floor with a loud "Clank!" as he assumed the position of a lumberjack.

"Jazz, I suggest you stop looking through my history notes."

Ratchet was going to have a fit when he saw Prowl. Or rather, his smoking cranium…

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A/N: So, what do you think? I really want to know. Please review if you have the time.

This is true! It is not a trick! Try it on your calculators! Whether it is a simple or scientific calculator doesn't matter! All different calculators give you different answers!

And yes, Jazz can predict the future! He knows about Obama!


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